Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Hanging Out With Myself

Drum roll: At this very moment I am not in the very same physical location as PJ.  About 30 minutes ago the Mr. took him off to his work for some show-and-tell.

Applause? Because this marks the first time that PJ and I are in different locations since he was born in July. It took some serious preplanning because we needed to arm the Mr. with some breast milk and I’m not a “good” pumper. Which means, while I can quite well feed my child directly at my breast, I can’t effectively feed a pump. Which translated into three pumping sessions to get one bottle large enough for the Mr. to take with him.

Applause? Because I’m not clapping yet. Instead I feel a little naked. I dreamed of taking a nap but can’t; in part because the Mr. sprayed his deo in our room right before he took of and in part because its just strange not to have PJ here. I considered working on the book I’m scribbling but can’t; basically because I can’t concentrate on more than:
    “Is PJ okay?”
    “How is the Mr. holding up?”
    “Are his colleagues handling PJ well?”
    “Is PJ hungry?”
    “Will the Mr. know when PJ is hungry or will he wait for him to cry?”
… and so on.

Like this picture - 

I’m sure my men are doing just fine and I never thought I’d be one of the mommies that feels this way. I thought it was going to be easy to kiss our little boy on the forehead and take off for an evening out with the ladies. In fact, I very naively planned a sushi date for “6 weeks after birth” (that didn’t happen). Maybe I will morph into one of those women over time but right now hanging out with myself is a bit of a challenge.

I think I’ll go take a bath.

1 comment:

Teresa said...

But you succeeded!!!

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