Not Easy But Worth It

Time to come clean: I’ve been having a difficult time writing about our time in Moscow. I’m thankful for the opportunity to have visited and to have had the chance to spend quality time with one of my favorite people – lovingly nicknamed Cold Snob – as well as meet one of the most energetic and entertaining young women I’ve had the pleasure to meet.

Indeed, the visual images and moments deeply touched me. Just to share a few of the best:

The imposing state museum:

The intricate ice sculptures built both inside and outside:

The majestic Red Square:

The newly rebuilt and exceedingly golden church in the center of Moscow:

The arresting changing of the Kremlin guards:

The still and impressing Kremlin:

But unfortunately three large themes also impressed me, and a not so positive way: media, equality of nations and races, and equality of women.

We arrived in Moscow shortly before the airport bombing that killed 36 people. With some very helpful translations, we experienced the initial Russian media coverage. The words “independent” and “free” didn’t and don’t spring to mind. Like one of the buildings dedicated to news coverage (next pic), the words “imposing,” “controlled” and “structured” do.

We might have missed experiencing Russian media completely or at least the emergency media coverage without the bombing tragedy. We might have also missed the underlying – and not quite so underlying – racism within the Russian society.

I need to add an disclaimer here: we were in Moscow for one week only and our contact to the average man was limited due in great part to language limitations. However, it did appear to me that the general populace holds the belief that the “pure” Russians deserve better pay, better treatment, and while beating the hell out of the “others” isn’t necessarily to be encouraged, it might not be all that bad either.

Which puzzles me because the best food we ate during our visit - and I continue to claim that cuisine tells us a lot about a culture, look at the American and German for proof points - were all absolutely not Russian. Georgian was the absolute best; if you haven't eaten it yet, run to the next resturant. Unfortunately we ate that meal so quickly there aren’t any pictures. So here’s a yummy and recommended Uzbekistani dish: fowl stuffed with lamb.

Lastly, while the women may exude a certain strength and remarkable beauty, it appears that they hold a second (at best) place in society. I can get really militant about this topic – so I’m cutting myself off.

With all that finally off my chest, lets return to the good stuff – did I mention Moscow is beautiful? Even at night and especially from above.

Summary: Moscow should definitely be on your list of places to visit, just don’t expect an easy experience if you think too much.



xo

Integration is a Two-Way Street

The chancellor of Germany, Angela Merkel, is creating a wave throughout the world with her claims that ‘Germany's attempt to create a multi-cultural society has failed completely’ and ‘by calling on the country's immigrants to learn German and adopt Christian values’. This conversation was sparked in great part by a central bank board member who said Germany is being made "more stupid" by poorly educated and unproductive Muslim migrants’.

These statements are dangerous and they are wrong. I am a “foreigner” living and working in Germany and my life proves them wrong.

Before we go any further, let me state clearly that these statements are NOT a continuation of National Socialism. Not. A. Continuation. Germany does have a significant problem in topic integration, and it isn’t alone in Europe, or on the North American continent. These statements could have come from any number of leading politicians; here is one example of racial profiling from the US, my home country.

Now that we have addressed that sticky and omnipresent aspect of anything German, let’s move on. I live in Germany, have done so for almost eight years, and am a foreigner here – so I’m going to share my experience and what I know.

I know that I am not the type of foreigner that Merkel is talking about: I am white. I am American. I am highly-educated. I was born and raised Christian; Catholic to be specific. In other words: I am not dark-skinned. I am not from Africa, the Middle East, or Asia. I’m not working in a low-level job. I am not Muslim. I’m not “that kind of foreigner” – and yes, I have been told that by countless people over my eight years, even by some people that I care deeply for and about.

But, I know and have experienced that I am not German. Since I’m not German, I am by default a foreigner. End. Of. Conversation. So, while Merkel isn’t really talking about me – she is. And I’m fucking offended.

For the record, I’m also offended with the following experiences: people telling me that I’m not the “bad” type of foreigner, that they don’t mean me; that I couldn’t possibly have dated a black man, an Asian man, a Columbian man, because I seem like “such a nice girl”; that I better name my children “real” names instead of “pretend” names like Americans; that I was accosted by a stranger while shopping with the accusation that I’m taking away jobs; that I was told by someone who has never lived in my country has the “exact same values” as Germany and refused to listen that, um, no, actually not.

At the same time I’m offended that Merkel and her likes can so easily disregard the progress that has been made in the last almost-eight years. Germany is changing. Here are three small examples from my personal experience and I have a lot more:

1. Just a few weeks ago at the Mr.’s little village’s festival, I saw groups of people standing together, laughing together, drinking together and those people were of many different ancestries and – more directly said, to make the point completely clear –skin colors, religions, and educational background. That wasn’t the case seven years ago.
2. While shopping the other day, I almost dropped something when a Muslim woman in headscarf helped me, spontaneous and with a smile. Then we shared a few words in German, then English before we moved into our own lives.
3. At work, I work with people from all over the world. Almost all of us have a story of active racism against us as individuals – yes, me, too, the “good” foreigner – but we also have far more stories of acceptance, of friendship, of love found. We share these stories, shaking our head at the idea that Germany doesn’t have to change but smiling that it already has.

Yet, all that said, the sad truth, is that many people believe that integration is a one way street, as shown by the demands – not requests – that immigrants “adopt” the German understanding of “Christian values”. The majority don’t see any reason why Germany (them) should change, since they (me) came here (Germany).

But, integration is not a one way street; it goes in both ways. I, the foreigner, get to change and grow, picking up and learning from the positive aspects of my host. Germany, the host country, gets to do the same, picking up and learning from the positive aspects of its new inhabitants, especially those born on its ground to “foreigner” parents. We all get to learn from each other – on our two way street.

So, Ms. Merkel, integration hasn’t failed in Germany. Just your expectations of what integration should look like. I suggest changing your view. Oh, and by the way, you’ll have to change too.

xo