Last night the Mr. got home from a four-day business vacation*. PJ was already in bed, exhausted from the trials of cutting his first tooth that has led to more frequent night wakings, shorter naps, and more (justified but tiring for us both) whining and discomfort. I was starting to wilt from exhaustion on the couch. The best sound I've ever heard in my entire life was
PJ's first healthy scream but the click of the Mr's key in our door is definitely on the top 10 list. Because that click means less work, more joy. For I have not just a husband, not just a friend, not just a partner-in-crime and a partner-in-silliness. I have a partner-in-parenting.
For a variety of reasons, I didn't grow up with a consistent, positive male in my life. As a teenager I didn't quite know how to act in a home with an engaged father but watching from the outside I knew that if I ever had children I wanted them to have at least one. I knew I wanted my potential children's father to be more than just "there" but "there" would be a good place to start. I
hoped for more and as I got to know the Mr and his family** better I grew a quiet, strong belief that he would absolutely be "there" - and he would be and do so much more.
I was right. I am now married to a man who gratefully and whole-heartily takes up his share and sometimes more. He does big things like:
- sleeping two nights in the hospital with his family to share those precious first hours with us
- signing up for months of parental leave
- skipping meals because he was so busy supporting us and walking countless kilometers with PJ in his arms (losing weight too quickly as a result)
- holding tight to me throughout the breast feeding issues and post-partum shocks that induced post-partum depression
- taking over feeding PJ when I just couldn't anymore
- being fully responsible for PJ's bedtime routine over a period of weeks when all I needed was sleep
- reminding me often that I'm doing a good job, that PJ is lucky to have me
And smaller things like:
- taking out the trash before I notice it needs to be done
- ensuring that we have groceries in the house
- cleaning the kitchen
- rubbing my neck
- telling me I look beautiful
- calling while at work just to "see how things are"
- replacing world of warcraft as his blackberry background image with a picture of PJ and I
And
amazing things like waking up frequently throughout the night to screen if PJ is awake because he needs hugs while his mouth aches
or if he is really hungry. As a result I was up only three times last night, sleeping an almost five hour stretch and getting almost 8 hours of broken sleep.
I am an awesome mommy; he is Superpapa.
Together we are Family Steinbach.
xo
*These days anything with one or more nights of uninterrupted sleep is a vacation. Don't argue.
**Single ladies, I offer two pieces of unrequested advice.
1. Be friends for a while first; even if you think he is totally hot and he thinks you rock, men speak and act differently to and with girl friends. You also speak and act differently if you aren't sleeping together. You'll both learn about each other's character, way of life, and maybe save yourselves a lot of time by either staying together or skipping the drama.
2. Meet his parents as soon as you think "hey, I could be with this guy for a while". Then study them. They are his normal and you're going to get that for better or for worse. Mr. is loyal, devoted to family, good with money, responsible, and solid. He also tends towards impatience, eats fast, and hears "chaos" instead of "change". Basically, while still unique, he is like his dad.
