Mice Will Play (Frozen)

The Mr. got to run away for a full night of sleep - he called it a "business" trip - and while he was away, the little mice decided to play. It started with a continuation of the model contest (the winner is no longer clear, I'd say).

After kindergarten, PJ and I made a guitar together. Little Man is still really into music and has been asking for a guitar. I'm not a huge fan of toys that make noise; cardboard, tape, and string to the rescue!

Projects are fun.

Afterwards, we made a cheese pizza; poured a glass of wine for mommy and a glass of 'kinderwein" (grapejuice) for PJ; and turned on Disney's Frozen.

PJ had already seen Frozen with Daddy in the cinema a few months before and had been talking about "Ana" and the "Ice Queen" since then. For the first few minutes, he had no idea what movie we were watching but then it suddenly clicked. He turned to me and whispered with great excitement, "Mommy, it is the ice queen."

Totally worth it.

During the movie, PJ sang and accompanied the songs. 

It was a fabulous night until all hell broke loose at bedtime. Sorry, no pictures. It ended with me sandwiched between two crying babies, both fighting sleep and kicking and smacking me randomly in various body parts as they both slowly sank into sleep eventually...cause its all gotta stay balanced, right?

XO

Little Projects

One benefit of our new home is a nice-sized garden and our awesome new patio. The garden needs a lot of love and work over the next couple of years to rescue a few of the plants and trees and simplify the rest. This year we are focusing on cleaning out the remaining vines above the patio, laying new grass, and growing our first set of plants: pumpkins.

PJ and I have been sharing this project. We started with seeds and then we waited (PJ wasn't very interested in this part). About a week ago the first tiny little leaves poked up above the earth.

PJ was very interested in those first leaves.

Almost every morning we come downstairs and check out how our plants are doing. Out of 20 seeds, four plants are growing. Which, considering we are talking about pumpkin plants here, is more than enough.

 

Today I realized we've almost reached that magical moment of four-leaf plants, meaning we can replant our pumpkins outside on the pile of leftover earth from our patio and new grass projects. PJ was super, super excited.  

 

If I may say so myself, they sure do look good!

Another benefit of our new house is that we have four bedrooms. So at the same time, as PJ and I have been working on our plant project, I've been working on my own 'little' project. Just around the time we'll be harvesting the pumpkins, we will also be redecorating one those rooms. Because in October we will be welcoming our fourth Steinbach clan member!

14 weeks

We are super, super excited to welcome our little addition. One of us can hardly wait...

16 weeks

xo

PJ Room Upgrade

I'm the best decorator out there. I enjoy letting my home slowly gather the flavor a home does over time. It works - but at first the rooms tend to be pretty sparse and white. Added to that, it's hard to tangibly include my family into PJ's life. While he enjoys an afternoon with his Oma and Opa each week; irregular visits with his German aunt and uncle; and skypes more or less regularly with his American family - I know that my family wishes they could play a more day-to-day role

Enter Grannie!

While she was here she painted PJ's walls. A fun, tangible, long-lasting project that remains with PJ. She did this all freehand (which continues to blow my mind). She worked on this for a couple of days and when it was finished PJ got to enjoy the full view.

Above his bed, she painted a big red tractor that is similar to one that he sees on a children's show about once a week. As soon as he saw it, he tried to get as close as possible, yelling out "Tractor! Tractor! Tractor!"

Grannie helped him get even closer.  

 

Then he noticed the trucks on the other side of the wall. At the time he called everything a "tractor", now he points to the different types of trucks and either yells their names or "truck!"

The trucks are actually stickers that come off the walls pretty easy. It will be very interesting when PJ realizes that.

I have to say, Grannie did one hell of a job. I'm positive PJ will enjoy his artwork for many years to come. Especially as he started to play with all those stickers! It has been over a month and he still points at it, smiles, and he knows that "Annie" (Grannie) painted it.

That's one proud Grannie, wouldn't you say?

xo

Not Making This Up

PJ turned eight months old at the start of March. What if I told you that he is already walking around with the help of a walking toy?

Seriously. Really. I'm not making this up. I have proof.

In February we were happily surprised by our little boy as he started to sit by himself, crawl, and then pull himself up all at the same time. Since then he has perfected his crawl - hips swinging madly in his rush to move from place A to place B - and grown increasingly confident pulling himself up all. over. the. place.

Then he started to move around our coffee table and, just a few days later, between the coffee table and the couch. So we ordered a wood walking toy. I specifically chose a toy with various engagement options, thinking that PJ would play with it for a while before he started using it to get around.

Wrong.

First there was all the excitement for his second Daddy & Me project - far more than during the first one. The toy was relatively easy to put together (I think) and PJ wanted to be a part of each and every step, even stealing the screwdriver.

When it was finished, he immediately started to play with the games on each side. But more importantly, within a week, little man started using it to get around our place. In the past few days, his confidence has grown and to get this video I had to literally hold him back for half a second.

Some things do stay the same: PJ remains fascinated by the washing machine.

Eight months and cruising around our apartment on two feet (plus a little trolley). Crazy, super, awesome right?

xo

First Daddy & Me Project

Today we put away the Christmas tree and decorations and, since our little boy has become so mobile, officially folded up the blankets that were getting into his way, and put up the "baby cage" (also called a playpen, but I had to look it up on Google to learn that) so that every once we can do things like go to the bathroom and other selfish, useless activities.

PJ was disappointed to see the tree go but quite interested in his new toy. He quickly turned the set up into his first daddy & me project. I think it might have taken just a few minutes longer to complete, but both my boys had a good time.

And now PJ has his own little space in the living room for when he isn't busy taking over the rest of the place!

xo

Aren't You Jealous?

This morning, the morning of my 42nd week of pregnancy – which means I have been pregnant for over 10 months – one of the online pregnancy communities sent me their weekly newsletter. Its directed to everyone around the overdue pregnant woman and is titled “10 Things Not to Say to an Over Due Pregnant Woman." I attended a Baptist church a few times and it seems I picked up some of their more interactive behaviors because I was calling out “Amen!” and “That’s Right” and especially when I reached number 10 “Preach it!!”

Being 42 weeks pregnant is tons of fun. While we are blessed – the Worm and I are both very healthy and I live in Europe, so I still have an income coming in – the heartburn has never been stronger; the nausea approaching constant waves in the evenings; TV & Internet more boring; my legs have literally never been this sore; and the ‘projects’ more brain-numbing. And since it appears that a number of people think I’m pressing my legs closed in a successful attempt to extend my pregnancy for as long as possible, I thought I’d share some of the very exciting things I do each day. Like laundry and cleaning floors and surfing the internet and this one:

Yes, indeed, de-icing my freezer.

You should be jealous. Very jealous. I’m living the life of a rock star! Rihanna step back.



xo

Killin‘ Time

As the Mr. pointed out last night, our little guy will be with us in an absolute maximum of 21 days. The due date is in 11 days; my doctor won’t allow us to go more than 10 days overdue. Then today I was reminded by my Twitter world that I should be concentrating on enjoying these days because they will never come again. It will never be this quiet or this unstructured or this babysitter-free again, or at least not for a double-digit number of years.

That requires quite the attitude change in yours truly. I need to move from “Come out today already!!!” to “I’m treasuring these days and this special time.” By the time I master that change, the little guy will be here, screaming, pooping, cooing, and not sleeping, which makes the whole thing rather amusing (when I chose to see it from a positive angle).

Until then, I’ll focus on finding more projects, driving the Mr. crazy (also called spending quality time together), and hanging out with others. If the weather is really good to me, I’ll spend some of that time at the pool, weightless in cool water.

The projects from the past few days included hand sewing baby wipes, hanging up pictures of family in the little guy’s room, and setting up a shelf for the baby changing station. Enjoy the view:

The baby wipes

The baby’s room

 
 
xo

14 Days – But Who’s Counting?

Oh, right: me. That’s who’s counting.

It’s not that I’m not having a good time, although I wouldn’t say this is the most comfortable I’ve ever been in my life. It is true that I’m not sleeping well or long; that I have some, um, mobility issues turning over in bed or bending over or getting up from the couch and chairs; and I’m cursing my strong organizational skills because I have to be relatively creative to find new projects to complete. But the reality is that the worm and I are both healthy; friends are entertaining me in good style; I just got a delivery of new books to read; and the Mr. is doing a great job of keeping me well-fed and entertained.

Speaking of which, ever heard of grilled watermelon? A while ago (like two years ago) the Mr. saw someone grilling watermelon on TV. Last night he gave it a shot and it was excellent. Yummy, yummy, yummy and it looked easy to make. Two thumbs up:

AND – as if grilled watermelon wasn’t highlight enough – the e. coli scare in Germany has calmed down and we are now free to eat most fresh vegetables and fruits. So for the first time in weeks a salad graced our table. A salad!

Needless to say, I was a very happy big belly woman.

xo

First Quilt Finished!

I tried to find a slightly clever title for this blog post but sheer pride and overwhelming excitement made it impossible: I finished my first quilt!

I’ve wanted to create a quilt for over 10 years and I finally started a project in December 2009 based on a book the Mr. gave me for Christmas. That project quickly got overwhelming and I realized that although my nana gave me sewing skills (thanks again for that!), I was in over my head. I signed up for a quilting class in June 2010 and started another, easier project. Although the class was one of the worst classes I’ve ever taken, it did get me going with some quilting basics. Now, almost a full year later, I’m looking back on a journey of many frustrations (like when I realized I’d already spent many hours on the project and wasn’t near being done) and even more exciting successes (like when my project actually started looking like a quilt).

The Mr. was a big part of this project with his encouragement, his patience when I lost my patience, his help with extra hands at difficult times, and his skills as a photographer. Thanks, honey! I’ll try to be less of a pain when I go back to my initial project.

The last stitch:

There are some funny things about quilting that I couldn’t have imagined before I really embarked on this project. For one, quilting is frustrating, annoying, expensive, complicated, and ARGH! But it is also meditative, calming, and rewarding. I believe that it can be addictive too; we’ll find out with the next project. Quilting takes a lot out of you, but somehow it gives a lot back too. I’m not sure how that works but it does.

Secondly, the littlest mistake made at any part in the project will influence the entire project. Yet, unlike when putting together a skirt, it won’t be obvious how big of an influence that mistake will have until much further into the project. My quilt has all sorts of issues but it is still beautiful, still warm, still special. To me it is particularly beautiful and special because of its imperfections and quirks. No one else could have made this quilt (but if someone else tries, I really hope you take out less stitching than I did!) and it won’t mean as much to anyone else.

It’s sort of like life in that way. All those joys, mistakes, chances taken and chances missed, all those everythings are written on our hearts, our bodies, our faces, and our souls, making us who we are. We can either focus on the ‘bad’ stuff, examining every crooked or uneven stitch, every missed turn, and every incorrect folding, or we can step back and look at the wonder that we created. I hope you are in awe of your own wonder.

The final quilt, folded in half:

xo

For the Record: Pictures Galore

Once I finally finished our wedding album (right before our 2 year anniversary, go me!) I decided to go back and print out all those other pictures we’d taken since January 2009 and put them into albums.

It turns out that not only do we travel a lot but we take a heck of a lot of pictures. Even after sorting, I had almost 1500 pictures printed. 1500 pictures. That’s almost a complete shelf of photo albums, all of them full. How do I know? Because I put all 1500 pictures into albums this week. Here they are:

And this was pre-baby…will it be better or worse after the worm arrives?

xo

Hangers!

Something like a miracle occurred in our apartment this weekend. The Mr. sorted through his clothing and decided to give away a large amount of the stuff he hasn’t worn in a good long while. I think there may have been shirts in there from his late teens. I’ve been encouraging (asking, begging) for this for a good long while but the Mr. isn’t quite the sort-out-and-throw-out sorta person that I am.

Granted, I have been known to be a little more enthusiastic about getting rid of things than most likely necessary. But that’s not what this blog is about. This blog is about how darn exciting it was to see a small mountain of clothing to give away and a whole pile of free hangers.

Because who doesn’t love free hangers?

xo

Forget Perfection - I'm Just Not Giving Up

Last weekend I attended a Work-in-Progress Writers Studio for my ongoing project. The studio was led by the inspiring Irene Graham and held in a villa called "Mount Vernon" on the west coast of Ireland that was once owned by Lady Gregory.

The workshop itself was challenging and rewarding. We had significant blocks of time to work on our project in an environment of "luxury, peace, and tranquillity" surrounded by "fine antique furniture, paintings and ceramics" (to quote the first two links above). I left the extended weekend feeling refreshed and inspired, with much more written than I had hoped.

In this environment it would be difficult to leave any other way:

Yet, I, the one who sometimes thinks too much, did manage to leave with my head whirling and twirling, wondering if the goals and the dreams I'm carrying within my heart are improbable in the best sense and impossible in the worst.

The truth is that I am a child of feminism: I want it all. I want a family I'm present for and dedicated to; I want a corporate job I enjoy more often than I don't; and I want an active writing life that challenges and inspires me. On top of that, I want to like myself and remain in close friendships with some amazing women - all of that without empting my energy tank, ruining my hopes, or killing my marriage.

You that have told me my dream is impossible: I have heard you and I've realized that you are right in at least one particular regard. My "all" won't ever be perfect or fully in balance. I will get tired and I will complain and sometimes I will fail.

But I have chosen to listen more closely to other voices, voices of people who are balancing - and many times "only" trying to balance - the many pillars that make up the life they want. Like them, I may fail but I'm not going to give up.

There are a lot of people out there working towards your balance: What are your tips and warnings?




xo

Update: First Quilt Project

Oh my goodness - it looks like a quilt! The Mr. helped cut off all the excess fabric, now I just need to create the binding and hand stitch it on. Just a few more hours to go and mostly work I can do in front of the TV! Then off to the next project.

xo

Patchworking Turns into Quilting

More than a few months later, I’ve finally picked up my patchwork project again to cross the magical line between patchworking and quilting. Patchworking is sewing together various patches to create a pattern, however simple or complex. Quilting is the stitching that - again, however simple or complex - holds the patchwork pattern, the lining, and the backside together.

And now I really understand why quilts are so darn expensive. I estimate I’ve already put 60 hours into the project picking out the (very simple) design; choosing the fabric; cutting the squares; completing the patchworking; chosing and sewing the two frames; and preparing to quilt. For the (again, very simple) quilting, I think I’ve already put in about 10 hours and I think I’ve got another 10 or so to go.

The before picture is available on the blog entry “Patchwork Project #1”. Here is a picture from before I moved towards the quilting. Although I've put in a lot of work, you can't really see the difference in the pictures, just with your eyes and your hands. I'll put up some more when I wrap up the project.

Even though this has been far more time consuming than I ever expected, I’m already dreaming of my next two projects!




xo

Home Improvement Part II

Last week the Mr. and I finally bowed to extreme, continuous, and universal peer pressure. After 1149 days of living in the apartment we now own we took the leap and hung up a living room ceiling lamp.

We really should have tallied the number of people who asked us when we were "going to hang up a lamp already". The offending before picture:

The during picture (are there other countries where hanging up a lamp is considered a normal skill?):

Since we were into home improvement again, we decided to jump with both feet in and conquer the book chaos which was significantly worse than the already conquered towel chaos of Summer 2010. I read a lot, and I have a lot of books. Without book shelves, that meant we had a significant amount of books in piles all around the apartment. So, the Mr. spared himself more bruised toes and surprised me with book shelves for my 30th birthday!

It has been a treasure hunt to locate all the piles of books. I've discovered that I have quite the skill in creatively misusing space for books. By the time we locate them all - and who knows when that will be - those shelves will be bursting full. Do you think the Mr. will start talking about getting rid of some of them then?

*shudder*

Back to happier thoughts: surprisingly for anything IKEA, not one single argument took place during the ‘building’ of these shelves, there were no missing pieces, and it took less than half our lives to put together.

Thanks again to the Mr for the amazing birthday gift.


xo

Ps. Torsten – this one’s for you. Special requests will always be listened to and sometimes acted upon.

Smile of the Day

It has been so busy recently with excellent guests, home projects, and life in general that we have both been very tired at the end of the day. When I stumbled upon this older picture - with the old couch - I thought it was the perfect representation for how tired, but happy, we both are these days.

xo

Sometimes a little bit of change makes a big difference. The Mr. and I have lucked into a new couch - exactly the type of couch in exactly the color I have been secretly (hear the Mr. chuckle at that) wishing for our home.

Before

After

A cuddle couch!!!



xo

A Writing Project

This blog is inspired by a group writing project called "Can Writing Keep Us Well?" over at Confident Writing. Its a major departure from the usual blog set-up. If you like it, let me know.

****
I don't remember a time in my life before my diagnosis with clinical depression. From medical records I understand that the first tests were done around the time of my Little One's birth in 1988. Since that means I was a grand old age of 8, I don't remember a time when I wasn't speaking to medical professionals - doctors, nurses, specialists, and therapists - about depression in all of its many names: sad belly; the illness; the hormone imbalance; the situational sickness, or (my personal, all-time, I-can't-believe-this-guy-in-a-white-coat-just-said-this-to-me favorite) 'the darkness'.

The last one led to great amusement at the time as well as when the band, The Darkness, arrived with their camp rock on the scene years later.

But, I digress.

I also don't recall how many depressive episodes or, more specifically, "significant" episodes I have personally had throughout my life. I have much nicer things to do- like cleaning the bathroom, flossing my teeth, and paying bills - than trying to revisit them all and come back with a count. Because regardless of how many, the illness that is depression, one that I inherited as well as earned, has, is, and will continue to be a part of my life. Sometimes greater; sometimes smaller, but always somewhere there.

What I do know is that I have never gone into or come out of a significant episode during a time that I was regularly writing from my inner dialogue, that special voice that only I alone have. I have never tumbled or slid or fell or crashed into an episode nor have I dragged along the base of living for weeks or even months when I was writing. Never. Ever. Instead when I'm writing I see the warning signs and react: the sleepiness, the spiked anger, the strange patterns of hunger, or, the worst for me, the missing words. Depending on the symptoms, I take action. Maybe I cut out all alcohol; maybe I sleep more; maybe I chat more frequently with my dear friends in the US; maybe I have my medicine reevaluated; and maybe I have walk and then ice cream with a friend here in Germany.

As the one year anniversary of my Papa's death approaches, this is another time in my life when writing is especially important for me and my well being. Although we never discussed our shared illness in length while he was alive, I know from the sparse conversations we did have that we shared this path and that he wanted something much better for me. We both experienced 'the darkness' and we both didn't give up.

Instead, sitting on a strange balcony in Las Vegas, he told me that I was either going to be part of me, or just me, and I got to make that choice. So, I have. My depression, my 'darkness' is one part of me along with the crazy humor, the passion for excellent books and red wine, the untidiness that drives the Mr. crazy, the deep loyalty for my two siblings (who are among the greatest people in the world), the natural desire for girl time with dear friends, and so much more. And writing helps keep it where it belongs, one part that helps creates the kaleidoscope that is me.

So, yes Confident Writing, writing can and does keep me well. Thanks for the reminder.

Towel Chaos Conquered!

The shelf is up and the towel chaos is conquered. We now have our towels avaialble for easy use, all in the same location, and we gained two sections of our closet. Which led to less chaos in the bedsheets and blankets department. Excellent.

Huge thanks to the Mr.

Home Improvement

The confession of the day is that I am rather good at starting projects around the house, but not quite fabulous at finishing them. The Mr. loves this about me. Deeply. So, when I suggested that I was ready to start another new project - to build shelves in the bathroom for our towel chaos - he mentioned that we might consider finishing a few of the unfinished projects already in the house. In fact, he may have refused to permit any further new projects until some unfinished projects were, well, finished.

The lesson of the day is never stand in between a woman and her solution for the towel chaos. This week and particularly this weekend was used to finish enough projects so that I can start a new project. Devilish girl I am.

Due to the sheer amount of projects completed, here's an overview with pictures!

Blue to white
I repainted the blue wall in the kitchen that we never liked when I painted it 2 years ago. It looks wonderful in white and project completed!

Hang and Rehang
About two years ago I had two paintings framed. Since then they have been floating around various parts of the house, waiting for a repainted kitchen wall. With a white wall, we got around to hanging and rehanging paintings throughout the house. I doubt this part was much fun for the Mr., since he kept being told "a little to the right, no the left, not too far. wait, back to the right"?  Na ja, projects completed and it looks beautiful!

Reclaim the Fresh Air
Our fabulous new balcony table arrived earlier in the week. We put it together and then the Mr. carried the horrible, horrible old table down a few flights of stairs. And I finally hung up the wind sock my 'rents gave me about five years ago. Which means three more projects completed and our balcony is fabulous!

Summary: SIX projects completed. Photographic proof below. I'll be posting pictures of my bathroom shelves soon.

*devilish chuckle*

Our new white kitchen. The two framed pictures were in other areas of the house or just laying around.

Some more newly hung art work. The painting is from my mom; the poem is from my aunt and was part of our wedding ceremony.

 

A picture of the Mr. carrying the horrible old table down the flights of stairs.

The wind sock

Our new balcony with our fabulous table.

And for those of you that might be feeling bad for the Mr. - I mean he was rather hounded all week in my pursuit of finishing projects to get my bathroom shelves - he did get a very nice beer as soon as he came up the stairs. God bless him.

XO